if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
