Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
