No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
