there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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