so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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