Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
he thought i was a dude.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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