Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
