My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
