apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Randomize
