found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
