It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Randomize
