is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
