I want to make a zoo with you.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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