Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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