Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(919): View more from North Carolina

DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.

Fav 16 3334 1037
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(770): View more from Georgia

I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.

Fav 63 8447 1437
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(205): View more from Alabama

i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.

Fav 15 6618 2288
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?

Fav 17 1952 4744
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(443): View more from Maryland

Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.

Fav 12 5195 1807
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(248): View more from Michigan

Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?

Fav 4 1197 1913
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.

Fav 1 1625 783
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(727): View more from Florida

Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins

Fav 3 667 414
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(360): View more from Washington

I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining

Fav 0 36 4
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