its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
