I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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