I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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