Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
