Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
