he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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