Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Randomize