They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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