I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
