Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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