We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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