Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
