Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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