Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Houston, we have a squirter
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
