i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
