Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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