This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
