I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
