Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
The power of my boobs compel you
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
