Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
