booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
