You're completely useless in the revolution.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
