just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
