I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
