I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
