i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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