Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
