I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
