have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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