For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
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