He is such a slut. More and more my type.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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