Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Randomize
