and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Randomize
