Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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