Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize