So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
