Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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