): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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