i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Randomize
