does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Randomize
