whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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