I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
how does that bad decision feel?
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
