I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Randomize
