How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
