Pants 0. Shit 1.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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