thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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