I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize