forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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