Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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