Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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