I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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