how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
